K is out of town on a little weekend retreat with her book club and in her absence I’m doing….absolutely nothing. It’s very nice.

So I’m sitting here watching television when I notice Johnny Mnemonic is coming on. Have you seen this techno thriller with Keanu Reeves? Well, I hadn’t and it’s one of those movies that I always wanted to see. I remember when it came out in 1995 and it looked so cool but I never made it to the theater or caught on vhs or dvd so I was very excited to watch it this morning. After watching it now, I’m prepared to review it for you. Here’s my review.


And I don’t mean ‘wtf?!’ in that sort of ‘Matrix I want to know what’s going on I can’t wait for a a sequel that was the most ingenious movie I’ve ever seen’ way. I mean ‘wtf?!’ in that ‘who the hell wrote this giant piece of crap and paid for this thing to be made, was that really a fucking dolpin at the end that helps keanu hack information out of his head?’ sort of way.

My god, that was one of the worst movies ever made and I’m not a Keanu hater. I liked Point Break. I liked Bill and Ted’s…

If you’ve never seen this, you’re a lucky person. I want my two hours back. I’m sure the next movie that’s on, XXX: State of the Union, will be much better. Ice Cube as a special agent? Oh yea. It’s just BOUND to be awesome.